Jeffery Winkler

Homecoming


	I remember Homecoming during high school. Freshman Year, I was totally 
unaware of the existence of such a thing until I came to school, and it was going on. I 
never heard anything about it ahead of time. I just came to school on Monday, and all 
thing bizarre stuff was going on. There were people dressed in outlandish costumes. By 
that, I mean more than usual, which is a strong statement. I thought it was just for one 
day. I came to school on Tuesday, and it was the same thing again. You had the same 
thing all over again. I went to school on Wednesday, and it was still going on, and by then 
I caught on that it was probably for the entire week.

	They would have these theme days, where the school would choose a theme for 
the day, and people would dress in costumes in that theme. Examples include Nerd Day, 
Surfer Day, 50's Day, Tourist Day, Cowboys & Indians Day, Little Kids Day, etc. Once 
when my sister was there, they had Baby Day. Friday is always Red, White, & Black Day. 
This was not a reference to Native Americans, Caucasians, or African Americans. These 
were the school colors. My mother said that originally, the colors were red and gray, but 
they thought gray was an ugly color, so they changed it to red, white, and black. During 
Sophomore Year, I had Rainer Dorna for French. In his class, there was a guy where the 
left half of his hair was painted black, and the right half, painted white. His face was 
divided into fourths. The upper left was black, the upper right was white, the lower left 
was white, and the lower right was black. After he came to school, he found another kid 
that had a can of red spray paint, and he painted a red line down the middle of his head. 
Dorna saw him and said, "It's the red streak that does it, the kid comes out in the morning, 
[pretending to be the parents] 'Where did I go wrong???' ". The guy said that this was 
insufficiently weird, and he was going to paint a red checkerboard over his face, or 
something like that.

	There were teachers that dressed up also. There was one teacher who for Tourist 
Day, Sophomore Year, wore a stereotype costume with a Hawaiian shirt, plastic lai, and 
his nose painted white with sun tan lotion. I remember this guy walking to Mr. 
Hunnington's room, after math. Most people did not dress up as whatever the theme for 
the day was. They would try to come up with any sort of outrageous costumes. People 
would dress as punk rockers. There were girls pretending (presumably) to be pregnant, 
while wearing a graduation gown or nun's habit.

	Homecoming was actually similar to Halloween during Elementary and Parkview, 
except it was for one week instead of for one day. The only time I wore a costume to 
school on Halloween was kindergarten, and I never did it again. I never wore a costume at 
Homecoming. I never wore a costume to Renaissance Fair. Of course, I probably enjoyed 
these events more than anyone.

	By Sophomore Year, Homecoming was established in my mind, and I looked 
forward to it as one of the fall events, along with the Scottish Festival, Civil War 
Reenactment, Renaissance Fair, Moon Festival, and Big Fresno Fair. You have the 
beginning of the school, then these events, then my birthday, and Halloween which is the 
beginning of the holidays. Junior Year, I had to take the S. A. T. shortly before 
Homecoming. Then after it was over, I was so relieved that it was over, and part of the 
celebration of it being over, was knowing we would then have Homecoming, the 
Renaissance Fair, my birthday, Halloween, etc.

	Frequently at a school you have one or a few times a year, where there is a party 
atmosphere at the school itself. Examples include the Carnival at Elementary, the Crazy 
Days at Parkview, Homecoming at Hanford High school, Kaleidoscope at Long Beach, 
Vintage Days at Fresno State, Picnic Day at Davis, and the Poly Royal at Cal Poly. It's 
like an office party. You have a party atmosphere juxtaposed at the normal background of 
drudgery. You have fun associated with a place not normally associated with fun.

	During Senior Year, I was Senior Class President. Therefore, I was in Student 
Government. This was an easy class. One downside is that you needed such and such 
hours of work outside the school day each semester. Normally, it would be hard to find 
enough to do to meet this quota, except there was a big extracurricular event put on my 
Student Government each quarter. First Quarter, there was Homecoming. Second 
Quarter, there was the Winter Formal. Third Quarter, there was the Sadi Hawkins Dance. 
Fourth Quarter, there was the Prom. Homecoming was done by the Freshmen, since it 
easier than putting on a dance. The Winter Formal was put on by the Seniors. I cursed the 
fact I had to show up to that damn thing the day before we got our Christmas Tree. The 
Sadi Hawkins dance was put on by the Sophomores, since it was the easiest dance to put 
on. The Prom was put on by the Juniors.

	During Homecoming, each of the four classes, had to make a float for the Monday 
Night Jam. I use the term "float" loosely. I would hardly put it in the same category as an 
actual float you might see in a real parade on television. It wasn't like a real float made of 
flowers. It wasn't like more high quality school floats, the way they're supposed to be 
made, with little bits of tissue paper. These were essentially giant collages. Ours was an 
eclectic bunch of junk on a wagon used for hauling cotton. It's centerpiece was an 
unidentifiable blue object that was intended to be a paper mache ocean wave. I remember 
coming to bowl during the week before Homecoming to work on this object. When you 
make things out of paper mache, your hands become covered with white slime. I was 
unable to wash this off. I went to the area with the bus garages, and one of the bus drivers 
put soap on my hands to see if that would get it off. Unfortunately, this container which 
originally had held soap had since been pressed into duty as a container for oil. Thus the 
bus driver poured motor oil on my hands which were already covered with glue. What 
really made the Senior Float unrecognizable was that at the last minute, a girl decided to 
climb inside the paper mache wave, stick her legs up out of the front, and wiggle them up 
and down. This was supposed to represent a surfer that had fallen off a surf board. I doubt 
anyone in the audience caught on to this.

	Also, at the Monday Night Jam, they had game. Senior Year was the only time I 
showed up this event. They had a life saver relay, where people give a lifesaver to another 
person using only toothpicks. Supposedly, they were going to have a contest making 
1960's beehive hairdos, although I don't remember them actually doing that. No 
Homecoming is complete without literal excrement. Therefore dried mounds of bovine 
excrement were brought to the Monday Night Jam. These were used in a game where the 
contestants made appetizing "cow pies" by putting whip cream and cherries on top. One 
good thing about the Monday Night Jam is that soft drinks were supposed to be prizes or 
something, so I drank a large number of them.

	They had another Homecoming Event on Friday. I think it was at this Friday Rally 
that they had male cheerleaders. These are not normal male cheerleaders who talk through 
bullhorns and wear pants. These are guys dressed in girl's cheerleading outfits. They have 
to have their parents sign a release form in order to do it. It's interesting how 
transvestitism is socially acceptable under certain circumstances. Also, at the Friday Rally, 
they had guys putting on a strange lip sync routine. They took off their shirts, put pillow 
cases over their heads, and lifted up their arms vertically. They had faces painted on their 
chest and stomach. The mouth was at the navel. Then, by somehow manipulating the 
blubber on their belly, they could make it look like the "mouth" was opening and closing. 
In this manner, they lip synced to music that was being played. That's the best I can 
describe it. It was absolutely bizarre.

	Also, Senior Year, I wrote an article about Homecoming for the school 
newspaper, the Meteor. It wasn't as entertaining as what you're reading right now. It was 
lamenting how Homecoming had become just a time to be silly, like Mardi Gras, when 
originally, it was supposed to be about Alumni coming back to the school, a fact that is 
little known today. Afterwards, several people complemented me on the article.

	Friday is Red, White, and Black Day, except for Seniors. Not that they are above 
such nonsense, but they choose to wear sillier garb. On Friday, almost all seniors wear 
togas, except for me, of course. Dorna said he never saw anyone wearing a toga that 
looked remotely like a real toga. Actually most of these people were probably unaware 
that togas were ever worn historically in any context other than Homecoming. It's similar 
to the fact that these people are genuinely unaware that the official tuxedo does not 
include an armband. There is a stereotype of togas being worn in college, but only one 
time in my second semester did they have a party where people were supposed to wear 
togas, and that was an officially sanctioned event. This stereotype probably comes from 
the movie "Animal House". However, during Hanford High school Homecoming, you can 
see far more human flesh than you see in "Animal House". Girls have a problem wearing 
togas that boys do not have. Frequently, a girl would be wearing a toga, it would fall off, 
and you would see her bare breasts. I saw this happen a couple times. A girl is standing in 
the hall, or sitting at her desk, wearing a toga. Then the single strap slips off her shoulder 
without her realizing it. Everyone can see her bare breasts. Then one of her friends 
simultaneously shouts and whispers her name to her, and she says, "Oh!", and pulls it up. 
This became such a problem that teachers would tell their classes that girls must wear a 
bra under their togas. The teacher of Student Government was Mr. Vincent. I remember 
him telling the class, "Girls, if you wear a toga, and your toga falls off, make sure you're 
covered! We've had some problems with that!" When my sister Cindy was a senior, she 
wore a toga but she wore a bra under it.

	Despite this, the most female overexposure I witnessed during Homecoming was 
not toga related. It happened during Freshman Year. There was a girl with long hair who 
was a Freshman also, and was in my math class. She was walking along wearing a 
cheerleading outfit. I think it was a cheerleading uniform from several years earlier, maybe 
7th grade. Since then, she had grown in that time, the uniform was now shorter than it was 
intended to be. Since they are intended to be short anyway, it was now super short. It was 
so short that her panties would show. That is, they would have shown, IF she had been 
wearing any! I am 100% dead serious. She was not wearing any underwear! This girl with 
long brown hair was walking along, carrying her books, wearing a red and white 
cheerleading uniform from several years earlier, with a super short skirt, with absolutely 
nothing underneath except what God gave her. Needless to say, I was stunned. I told 
myself that I shouldn't stare at her, so I turned around, and walked away. Then I looked 
back. She walked past two Mexican guys sitting on a bench. These are big guys that look 
to old for high school. One of them looked at the other one in disbelief. Then, he got up 
and walked up behind her. Then he kicked up the back of her skirt. The back of the little 
skirt flipped up, showing her bare butt up to the waist. Then she dropped her books, and 
shrieked "AAAAHHHH!!!!" She pulled down the back of her skirt, and planted both 
hands firmly on the back of her skirt, one on each buttock, to make sure the damn little 
thing stayed down. Then she turned to the two Mexican guys, and said, "You really want 
me to?", with a plaintive tone in her voice. Then the one that had kicked up her skirt said, 
"Yeah!" Then the bell rang, and I went to class. I thought I would see her again because 
she was in my math class which was after that, but she didn't show up to class. I don't 
know if she was sent home, ditched class for the rest of the day, or what. Anyway, but this 
incident indicates the "anything goes" mentality of Homecoming.