On June 6 - 8, 2000, me, my parents Keith and Donna, and sister Cindy went to visit my father's Aunt Terry in south Lake Tahoe. We left Tuesday and came back Thursday. Terry is scatterbrained hilarious woman who writes rambling stream of consciousness letters which I always enjoy. However, I hadn't seen her since 1976 when I was in the 1st grade. Going to Terry's was one of the main things we did this summer. Usually, there are two main things we do in the summer, such as a vacation and 4th of July. Last year, Ian came over and you had 4th of July. This summer, there were four main things, Ian and Merak coming over, going to Lake Tahoe, 4th of July, and then Linda and Rick coming over. I had heard about visiting Terry for a long time but I didn't know when it was going to be until the night before. Also, I didn't know whether I was going to be able to go or not but it turned out I was able to go. The night before I printed off a thing on gravity waves to read in the car.
We left on Tuesday, June 6, at 8:30 am. We took the black Passat. The only other time I had been inside of it was o Mother's Day. We had lunch at a restaurant made to look like a 1950's diner in Placerville which is where my father's former boss Denis Otani went. There was a family in the booth next to us with two teenage gothic girls, one of whom had pigtails. I couldn't read the thing I printed off on gravity waves because my parents were playing CD's. There was one by John Denver about trains. When we entered the mountains, the Passat started having trouble so we pulled off the side of the road. We were next to a dry creek, and my father got out the manual. Then we saw a wagon train go by. There were a bunch of wagons and horses. I presume it was set up for tourists. Then we left again. We reached Lake Tahoe at 4:00 pm.
Usually, we have hotel reservations but here we did not. We parked near the lake. It was much larger than any other mountain lake I had seen. I had previously seen Lake Hume which was much smaller. I was most familiar with ocean beaches. This was different. It didn't have real sand. It was like dirt. Nonetheless, there were kids playing in the sand, or dirt really, and people sunbathing, including a woman in a bikini. My father tried to call Aunt Terry but it was to expensive. Even though it was a short distance, she was technically in another state. We then drove into the Nevada side. Giant casinos were right on the border between California and Nevada. The only other times I had been near casinos was when I went to uncle Mark's wedding in Reno in the 5th grade, and we briefly drove past casinos in the southern tip of Nevada while coming back from Aunt Linda's in 1989. We drove past the giant casinos in Lake Tahoe, looking up in awe at the glittering signs. However, these were nothing compared to the casinos in Reno which in turn were nothing compared to the casinos in Las Vegas. We would frequently go to the beach and mountains, and I remember going to Reno. This was like all three together, although each of the three was not as good.
We stopped at a gas station. There was a bald man with an ear ring and goatee. I joked that he looked like a genie. Cindy laughed as I described Al�s physical appearance. We then drove to Terry�s house. It looked very different than I imagined. When we went to visit her in 1st grade, she owned a hotel. Maybe when I read her letters, I imagined her more at a place like that although she no longer owned it. I always thought they were more out in the forest but their house turned out to be in a suburb. Also, it was much smaller than I imagined.
Terry is a hefty old woman with short curly gray hair, which she claims is thicker because she takes miracle elixir. Al is thin, has thin black hair, spends most his time sitting in his chair, and looks sort of like Gollum. When we got there, they said my father�s sister Jenny, and her daughter Nicole had just left. Terry said, �Nicole is a smart girl�. If you ever met her, you�d know what a ridiculous statement that is. Terry said she loved Nicole�s poetry, probably because it was stream of consciousness like her letters. Terry talks like she writes. It�s absolutely hilarious. There�s no way I could remember a fraction of it. She says Keith�s mother, and other people, are �la dee da� meaning putting on pretentious airs. She�s big on being British, even though she�s lived in this country for 50 years. She said, �What�s that fizzy stuff Americans always drink?� It turned out she meant tonic. Americans never drink it anyway, except with gin. She has no idea what grades her grandkids are in because she says, �I don�t know anything about American schools.� Terry�s neighbors on the other side of her tiny back yard had a big kitten, a red tabby named Marmalade. Terry kept her sliding glass door ajar, and this neighbor cat continuously went in and out of her house. She said it had never come in before.
Then we went to our hotel. It was called the Alpenrose Inn. The people who owned it had a long hair black cat. My parents had stayed at this hotel once before and the cat was there at that time also. There were a group of Germans checking in at the same time we were. We could have had either rooms 11 or 12, and we chose 12 which was over their offices. After that, we went back to Terry�s. Jenny and Nicole were supposed to come back but didn�t because they were to tired. While we were there, Terry�s son Craig came by with his wife Sylvia, 9 year old daughter Kathleen, and 7 year old son Steven. Later, I would compare Craig to Barry who used to work at my father�s office in that he was an arrested adolescent. Actually, he was arrested for drug possession, but he was innocent of course. He used to drive a van for Caesar�s Palace but he quit that and now works on computers. We talked about computers, but Terry said they were �disgusting.� I said she could use them to research genealogy but she said that would be to much information. She said she loved British comedies, and talked about the ones she watched.
Terry talked about a story she wrote inspired by her grandmother in which an old woman�s daughters are trying to manipulate themselves into her inheritance, and the old woman somehow baked the money into food eaten by the daughters. Then Terry spent a long time describing a truly bizarre story she wrote describing her own personal version of biblical Armageddon. They run out of room in Heaven so God decrees that no more babies will be born. Therefore a group of Quatermains remain childless. As decades pass, the youngest people alive get older and older. Old people die. Finally, there�s only one old man left in the world. He is named Quartermain. He makes his own coffin, lies in it, and dies. The last words in Terry�s story are �The End�. In this brief summary, I�ve made it more coherent than what she described.
Then there was much debate as to what we would do next. Should we have cake or go to casinos? I said we should have cake first, then go to casinos. Terry gave out pieces of chocolate cake. She asked if anyone wanted beer with their cake. Al said that was ridiculous and it wouldn�t go together. Terry said, �I think beer would go with cake.� Al said, �Alright, you can have it then.�
After that, I wanted to go to casinos but my parents were to tired so we just went back to our hotel. There was a PBS auction on. We watched part of Geraldo. The next day, my father went running. I got a coke from a vending machine. We looked at brochures and a newspaper we had gotten. They were having a Renaissance Faire. Unlike the Hanford Renaissance Faire, but like everyone else, they charged money for admittance. At one point, we saw parrots in the back of someone�s car, and they may have been there for the Faire. Then we went to the casinos. It was better to go in the morning because there are fewer people. The only other time in my life that I had been in a casino was at Mark�s wedding in Reno during 5th grade. During August of the summer after 5th grade, I left the MGM Grand in Reno. It was a big deal to step foot in a casino for the first time since then. The casinos were huge with flashing lights, and the overwhelming atmosphere. However, keep in mind, the casinos at Lake Tahoe are much smaller than the ones in Reno which in turn are much smaller than the ones in Las Vegas.
First we went to Caesar�s Palace. This is the biggest casino in Lake Tahoe, although the Caesar�s Palace in Las Vegas is ten times larger. Al drives a limousine for Caesar�s, and Craig used to drive a van for them. There was a limousine in front like the one Al drives. We went in. I stepped foot in a casino for the first time since 5th grade. It had a theme of Ancient Rome. Fortunately, they did not play up the Ancient Rome theme, which is good, because whatever they did with it was ridiculously inaccurate so I�d rather they not even bother. There were statues of Julius Caesar, not that he looked like that. Today, casinos contain mostly computerized slot machines. Most are entirely computerized with a computer screen, but even those with an lever and reels are actually computerized. They are like videogames. They are less likely to pay back now than at any time in the past. We walked down a hallway past several stores. One was selling a giant statue of the Hindu god Ganesha for $2000. My mother wanted it for an anniversary gift but my father had no intention of buying it. Later, after we got home, we would buy a small Ganesha. Another store had life size wax statues of butlers. They also had a variety of art work, all very expensive.
Next, we went to Harrah�s. It supposedly had a Western theme, like old movies. There was a bakery in front, and I had a piece of chocolate cake. I noticed the canisters of sand, which were ashtrays. It had been a long time since I�d seen those. They had long been illegal in California, but we were now in Nevada. We saw a bust that looked like it was of Bill Cosby, but it was actually of Mr. Harrah who started the casino. Then we looked at the plaque and saw it had been donated by Bill Cosby. My father played the machines and lost. There were old women playing. One old woman was playing two machines at once. If you touch one of their machines, they�ll bite your hand off. They don�t even want you to sit near them.
Then we crossed the street, and went to Harvey�s. They had a mountain theme with fake trees indoors. There were posters of Bill Cosby, as if it was some sort of conspiracy. I said how once there was a bomb there, and people ordered Harvey wall bangers. Later, Al told the story in more details. Many of the casinos were giving away cars and motorcycles. Harvey�s also had novelty games. They would invent new gambling games, and play them for about a month, and then replace them with new ones. When we were there, they had Twin Blackjack, Spanish 21, and Wild Aruba Stud.
After that, we went to the Horizon. The best thing about it was they had a lot of traditional games. They had a lot of green felt tables for poker, blackjack, baccarat, craps, etc. They had two roulette wheels, and I spun one of them. They had a PM wheel, which is those large vertical wheels, and I spun it around. They had a movie theater. I also saw a family with kids walking around, which is good. I remember when I was in the 5th grade, walking around the MGM Grand in Reno, and nobody said anything. There�s no rational reason why kids shouldn�t be allowed in casinos. It�s not like they�d be damaged by witnessing such immoral activity as gambling. Actually, there�s no reason why gambling shouldn�t be legal everywhere. It�s not like gambling is so extremely immoral that it should be illegal.
After that, we went to Bill�s, which is Terry�s favorite casino, and the one she suggested. It was a smaller old fashioned casino. The machines paid off much better. My father and Cindy won several times. They had a three stooges machine. The names of the machines reminded me of the names of the little fireworks on 4th of July. Often they mention �seven� because seven is a famous number in numerology going back millennia. Then we left. On June 16, Harrah�s was having Ringo Starr. Cindy, a big Beatles fan, was flipping out even though he wasn�t there. They had Beatles impersonators. The Horizon had impersonators of Michael Jackson, who was portrayed by a female impersonator, and impersonators of other celebrities.
Originally, South Lake Tahoe was supposed to have a Swiss theme, like Kingsburg has a Swedish theme, and Solvang has a Danish theme. You can see some old buildings from the 1950�s are designed to look like the Swiss Alps. They have some buildings with extremely pointy roofs, and gingerbread trim. The more recent ones just look like the Sierra Nevadas. Then we tried to go to the lake but all the access to the lake was either closed or cost money. At one place, the woman at the gate said, �If you want you can stay for 15 minutes...�, and we thought she was going to say, �for free�, but then she said, �for two dollars�. We couldn�t find any other way to the lake nearby so we just went back to Terry�s.
We arrived back at Terry�s around 11:30. They had chicken and other food sitting out, which we ate. They never had much to drink. They brag that none of their plates match. Later, Jenny and her obese daughter Nicole arrived. Later, Craig and his wife Sylvia arrived. I talked about what I remembered from the previous time I had seen Terry which was when I was in the first grade. I remember seeing a man without a shirt lying face down on a bed, and Terry said I could play checkers with him. I was shocked an adult man would play checkers because I thought checkers was a kids game. When I said this, everyone thought it was Terry�s son Roger, but later my parents said it was Craig. Also, they said was only 14 although I remembered him as an adult man. I remember Terry gave me a glass of milk and said it was purple cow milk. I didn�t want to drink it. Later I did drink it, and Terry spun around, and said, �I saw you drink that purple cow milk! I have eyes in the back of my head!� Nobody else remembered that incident but Terry said it sounded like something she�d do. Terry talked about Mormonism, and the three levels of Heaven, and how in only one of the three levels, families were allowed to stay together. It reminded me how in some of the death camps of Nazi Germany, families were allowed to stay together in case the Red Cross came to inspect. She talked about what she claimed were the extreme acts of charity done by the Mormons, while also admitting that it was paid for by the fact that all members were required to pay 10% of their income to the church. The people who join Mormonism, if they knew the truth about Mormonism, and knew ahead of time what would be required of them, would never join. Once they�re in, they can�t escape. They are brainwashed. They are afraid of disappointing the other members. If you quit, you feel like all the torture you went through so far was for nothing.
Jenny asked why do people say �bless you� when someone sneezes? I explained that it was because it was once believed that part of your soul leaves your body when you sneeze, and then the Devil could take control of your body. To prevent this from happening, you must be quickly blessed. Jenny said, �I wouldn�t mind as much if people really believed in the Devil, and did it for that reason, but the way people do it without thinking really bothers me.� There was then the following exchange.
Terry : The Devil is just like us, intelligent, good-looking, went down the wrong path so he was cast down.
Jeffery: Do you think the Devil can be redeemed?
Terry: Yes, I think so.
Jeffery: Why don�t you set this up as a personal project for yourself?
Al: Don�t give her another one.
I talked about the foot water that was believed to have magical properties in medieval Europe. One ironic thing is despite Terry�s incessant babbling of spiritualist mumbo jumbo, she dismissed out of hand Jenny�s claim that right after her father died, she heard him stomping around upstairs, and dragging chains. Terry�s reasons were that spirits do not wear boots, and that since Jenny�s father was a gentleman, he wouldn�t stomp around in such a rude manner. Jenny talked about her other daughter Kelly�s mental illness, and how she was committed to an asylum. She would put things on the barbecue and forget about them. Once Kelly walked to the park in the nude. Sylvia laughed her head off when she heard that. Terry told a horror story about having been in a mental hospital, and fellow patient brought in a dead snake, and put it in the refrigerator.
Al talked about being a limo driver for celebrities, all of whom he�s unimpressed by. The Pointer Sisters got in a fight and broke each other�s teeth. He said Dr. Ruth was so short, you could barely see her from behind the slot machines. He said David Copperfield was a �jerk�. He said David Copperfield used a secret name. When I asked what it was he said, �I can�t tell you�, and then whispering added, �it�s the opposite of white�, and then added, �but I didn�t say anything.� Then we all agreed to come back that night. I asked Craig if he was going to bring his kids, and he said, yes. I had not yet had a chance to talk to Kathleen and Steve.
Then we drove up the California coast of Lake Tahoe. We got out at one of the look out points where you can see a small island, the only island on the lake. There was a small castle on the island built by some rich person in the 1920�s. We saw golden mantle squirrels. We saw a group of Asians get out of a van, and we couldn�t tell if they were Chinese or what. They didn�t look Japanese. The Chinese government wouldn�t normally let people go on vacation, and few could afford it, but maybe it was a government sponsored trip of some sort. Then we drove to another area where you could climb on the rocks, and then look down and see the lake. Then, we drove back to South Lake Tahoe, and went to a convenience store for tourists. I got a large Pepsi and Reese�s peanut butter cups. Then, we went back to our room, and ate them.
Later, we went back to Terry�s. We had Terry�s �famous sandwiches� which were just normal sandwiches. I didn�t want one, but finally I took a cheese sandwich. Then Jenny and Nicole arrived, and Nicole instantly dug into the sandwiches. Later, Nicole asked, �What�s for dinner� and Jenny said, �the sandwiches�. They talked about how badly behaved Jenny�s dog is. The dog stayed in Jenny�s car for the entire trip. The previous day, Jenny had taken the spare tire out of the back of her car, and put it on Terry�s front lawn to make more room for the dog. Later, Al moved the spare tire away from the garbage cans, otherwise the garbage men might take it away.
All day I had been looking forward to playing with Kathleen and Steven. I invented an elaborate game for us to play. As it turned out, Craig and his family never showed up at all, and I never saw them again. I was very disappointed. While we were waiting for them, Terry showed me a board game they had made earlier. Terry went on and on about the miracle cure-all that she claimed made her hair bushier, and cured her illnesses. She claimed she would have died a long time ago if it wasn�t for her miracle tonic. Al piped up, �We got it at the carnival�. They talked about a wide variety of subjects. Al talked about the bomb they had at Harvey�s. They talked about the ridiculous amount snow they get in the winter. Al said there were Arab oil sheiks who refuse to talk to female employees at the hotel, and only talk to men. Jenny talked about her dog. Jenny was terrified of bears. She wouldn�t listen when I tried to explain that bears do not attack humans. She talked about her horrible neighbors. They had chained her pit bull to her fence, which broke her fence. Then they complain to Jenny when Jenny�s dog barks. We talked about Jenny�s lack of hosting skills. She forced an English couple Brian and Joyce to sleep on the floor, and then crammed them into the back of her small car where they sat on bare springs. When the elderly wealthy Peggy Bule and her ponytailed boyfriend Ian visited Jenny, they had to sit on paperbags. Jenny normally slept on a mattress but Nicole did not even have a mattress so Jenny took the cushions off the couch for her to sleep on. Then Jenny forgot that the couch is supposed to have cushions. When they came over, she laid out newspapers and paperbags on the couch for them to sit on.
My father Keith told the story about his uncle Sandy and the boat. Sandy fancied himself nautical, and so bought a leaky wooden boat with a car engine. They had to bail it every day to keep it from sinking. They heard Quaker oats keep boats from sinking so they tried shoving Quaker oats into the cracks in the boat. Once in the middle of the night, they went out in the boat, and the engine stopped. They called the coast guard, and a helicopter came out and everything. Then when they got back, the engine started up again. They felt bad about having caused so much trouble, and Keith's mother said the coast guard was probably not doing anything anyway. Jenny remembers bailing the boat when she was little. Terry talked about her grandmother, a bizarre woman who had a parrot that drank beer. The old woman would drip mucous from her nose into the laundry. We talked about old English superstitions, like you couldn't start a trip on a Friday. Right before you go to bed on the last day of the month, you say "white rabbits", and when you first wake up, you say, "hares". When a magpie crosses the road, you must count the number of steps it takes. Jenny said that uneducated people's "heads were full of balony". It's almost like somebody believing in miracle tonic.
Then we went to our hotel. The next morning I finished my Pepsi, and we checked out. We went to a bakery near where you can walk down to the lake. In the bakery, there was artwork on the wall from local artists, such as a photographer named Justin Baez. I got a Pepsi and two chocolate chip cookies. We walked down the steps to the lake. This was the place we saw when we first got there. There were seagulls and ducks sleeping. I touched the water. It started to rain, so we ate the food in the Passat. We left on Thursday, June 8, at 9:00 am. We drove through the gold rush country, and stopped at a gas station in Angels Camp. One of my best friends was Jamie Walker. We were friends from 3rd grade, until he moved to Murphys, near Angels Camp, in 7th grade. I've kept in contact with him over the years. He still lives in Murphys, and this was the first time I was anywhere near where he lives. We kept driving, and had lunch at the Applebees in Modesto. They had all kinds of junk on their walls. We reached home at 5:00 pm. When I got back, I wrote about the trip. The three main parts of the trip were Terry and other relatives, the casinos, and the lake and the mountains.